I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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