Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
her facebook's as public as her vagina
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her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
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I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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