Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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