Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
