I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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