A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
