she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
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is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
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She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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