So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
