He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Umm I'm too high to move.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
