You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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