On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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