It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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