I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
