I should be sponsored by Trojan
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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