oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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