I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize