I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
