I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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