i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So much rum. So many feels.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
