i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
