Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
