I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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