High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can I color on your dick again?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
