My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
