I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
