imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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