I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
