Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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