How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There's always time for handjobs
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
