Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
