WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
