Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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(815): View more from Illinois

He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night

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(209): View more from California

There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.

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(440): View more from Ohio

You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom

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(575): View more from New Mexico

Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.

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