and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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