Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
