He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
