And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
