your thong is hanging out like whoa
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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