he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
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Green mimosas i think yes
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
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Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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