what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
