so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
