My nipple is on Facebook.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
