I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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