i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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