help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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