Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
