we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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