my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
