I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We smell like vodka and hangover
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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