I'm laying in your front yard are you home
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the day after is always just damage control
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
All I want is dick and wine.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
