According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
