I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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