you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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