I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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