i already hear my dad disowning me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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