Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
