Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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