apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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