well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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