Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
