My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize