remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Pooping to opera.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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