Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
