Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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