Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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