bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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